Lost Hope
by Lynn DiNozzo
Summary: What happens to Tony after Ziva was left in Israel. - All in one feeling he was praying to God that this was the right camp and that he didn't make a mistake and he was also scared to death that he was right.
1. Leaving Her

_A/N: After relaxing a little bit doing a lot of One-Shots, I figured it was time to get back to real fics! ;) Enjoy! ~Lynn D._

* * *

After days of not speaking, Tony was ready to clear things up with his partner, "I had no choice."

Still not over everything that had happened, she quickly bit back, "That is a lie."

Hurt that she still wasn't ready to forgive him and start over, he replied, "Why would I lie to you, Ziva?"

"To save your worthless ass," she spat.

Confused, he sought some answers, "From who? Vance? Mossad?"

"You jeopardized your entire career, and for what?"

Trying to make her get the point, he kept trying, "For you." He paused, realizing what he'd just said. Trying to make things sound better, he continued, "He was playing you, Ziva."

She shook her head, "For some reason you felt it was your job to protect me?"

"I did what I had to."

"You killed him," Ziva confirmed.

"If you hadn't, you'd be having this conversation with him," he paused, "but maybe that's the way you'd prefer it."

"Perhaps I would," she said, piercing a hole into Tony's heart.

Hurt by her words, he figured she just needed to let off some steam, "Okay, why don't you just get this out? You wanna take a punch? Take a swing? Get it out of your system! Go ahead! Do it!"

"Be careful, Tony. Because much like Michael, I will only need one." Ziva bit, showing off her Mossad training.

"And that's what you're really angry about isn't it?" Tony asked, "That's what's bothering you. It's not that he's dead. It's that your Mossad boyfriend got kicked like a chump like me."

"You took advantage of him."

"He attacked me! What was I supposed to do?" He questioned, wanting to know really what he should of done.

Ziva responded by knocking him to the ground onto his back. Cringing from his still hurting arm, he let Ziva rant.

"You saw a glass table, you pushed him back, you dropped him on it. He was impaled in the side by a shard of glass, bloody, gasping for air." She recalled with emotion in her voice.

"I guess you read my report."

"I memorized it!" she shot back, "You could have left it at that, you could have walked away! But no, you let him up, you put four in his chest!" She yelled, putting her glock to his chest.

At that point, he was worried for his life. He had never really figured out women, but one thing he knew was not to provoke them, they were a delicate subject, "You weren't there," he quietly explained.

"You could have put one in his leg," she cried, pushing the barrel of the gun to his leg.

"You weren't there." Tony tried.

"But I should have been!" she yelled, mentally kicked herself for not being home just minutes sooner.

"You loved him," he said, coming to the awful truth.

Getting teary eyed as she got up, she breathed, "I guess I'll never know." As she walked away, she held back the tears that she so desperately wanted to cry.

As Tony watched her walk away, he gritted his teeth, trying to take away some of the pain coming from his arm. He wondered if things would ever be the same between them, he wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to joke with her, really ever be the good friends they were before again. He wanted good back.

* * *

Tony rolled his neck, trying to relax himself as he repositioned his arm. He still wasn't quite sure why a federal agency could afford planes that at least had padded seats. Adjusting his back, trying to get as comfortable as possible against a hard, medal back; his boss got onto the plane.

Without seeing Ziva, he cocked his head to the side, "Boss, one short?"

His heart dropped when the plane's door went up. Putting his head back, he first thought it was just a terrible joke, maybe a way for Ziva to apologize, maybe even a way for him to apologize. So many different feelings and emotions were running through his brain, All he knew was that he wanted her back where she should be, next to him.

On the flight back home, he did everything he could to keep her off his mind because he had an awful feeling that he would never see her again. He tried to sleep but every time he fell asleep, his dreams brought him right back to her. He attempted to look to Gibbs a few times, trying to find some answers, but it always ended in a cold, steely glare back.

Tony never even attempted to look to the Director, being sure that he was just as mad and confused as him. There were many instances when he went to the head and peeked over at the pilot who was innocently flying the plane farther and farther away from her. He probably would have tackled him to the ground and fly it back to Tel-Aviv to at least attempt to talk to her, convince her to come back, but his arm seemed to be getting worse and he knew he's break it for sure if he pulled a stunt like that.

Tony figured he must of fallen asleep at some point because the next thing he heard was the pilot telling everyone to strap back in for their landing in D.C. For a second he thought all of this had just been a terrible dream, but his fears were confirmed when he looked around again and still didn't see Ziva on the plane.

They had all driven to the airport in their own cars in case they had arrived home late and wanted to get home quickly which ended up being the case. When he saw Ziva's red mini right next to his car, he nearly lost it, but his boss was there and he didn't want to do anything stupid or embarrassing. He was headed home like everyone else, but he ended up pulling into NCIS, he figured he had one last ray of hope there.

But after getting off the elevator and looked at her deserted desk, he knew for sure that she really wasn't coming back.

As he came to his desk, he saw that Jimmy and McGee were waiting when Abby came up and hugged him, a faint smile crossed his face, "Missed you too, Abs." Saying 'hi' to Jimmy, he sat down, hoping to God no one would ask about Ziva, he didn't think he could bear to talk about it.

But, right when the thoughts even hit his mind, McGee came over with Abby close by his side, "So, Ziva's getting her stuff, or—"

Cutting him off he just wanted everyone to leave, "No."

Despite his attempts, Abby continued, "Is she parking the car?"

Tony sighed, "No."

Confused, McGee tried again, "Well, then what is she doing?"

Moving some things to the side to at least pretend like he was doing something, he answered, "Well, considering the time difference, probably eating breakfast."

Jimmy brought them to the conclusion, "She's still in Tel-Aviv?"

"Yup," Tony confirmed.

"Well," McGee wondered, "when is she coming back?"

Tony began holding back any emotion at this point, "She's not."

"No! This cannot happen! Vance cannot do this to us again!" Abby shouted.

"It wasn't Vance's call," Tony said, reliving the horrible day he'd just lived.

The team took a moment to soak everything in, but it was McGee who stepped up, "Well, if it wasn't Vance, then who?"

After getting a death glare from their Senior Agent, Jimmy decided they wouldn't get anymore out of him and went home. After waiting a little longer, still asking Tony the same question, McGee and Abby finally gave up.

Once McGee had gotten his gear and helped Abby get her coat on, they were about ready to leave, but Abby went over to Tony with tears in her eyes, "Tony, we'll get through this together. Gibbs will figure this out, we'll get her back."

Looking into Tony's green eyes that she always saw such a spark in, her heart fell when she saw that they were dead, almost as if there was no hope left. When Gibbs was in Mexico, Tony became a big influence on her life, as well as a big brother that she could always look up to, as well as someone to lean on, but now, she could tell that he needed her, and the team for support.

Ziva was a great friend to her and the rest of the team, but she knew that she and Tony had always shared something different than anyone else, being partners wasn't something Abby could easily wrap her mind around, but she knew it was incredibly special and unique.

Knowing he'd end up staying there all night if she didn't do something, she grabbed his arm, "Come on, it's time for you to go home."

Shaking his head, he put on a fake smile, "Thanks Abs, but I'll be fine."

Seeing right through the disguise, she looked to McGee and made him grab DiNozzo's gear as well as Abby nearly dragged Tony to the elevator.

Abby knew what happened to him when Kate died and couldn't bear to see him go through that again. From then on, Abby decided as the elevator's doors closed that she would have to keep a close eye on him these next few weeks to make sure he wouldn't do anything stupid.

* * *

_A/N: Well, how was it? I'd really love to know what you thought! ~Lynn D._


	2. The Game

The cold air bit at Tony's face as Abby walked him to his car, holding tightly to his arm. His stomach was turning along and his mind racing.

He tried to stay focused on listening to Abby talk passionately about her day, cases the other teams had solved while they were gone, and Sister Rosita's new high score in bowling. "…we were only 7 points away from winning the game and she went up there and bowling a strike!" Abby exclaimed, "She surprises me all the time, I hope to bowl as good as her. I suppose it will take a lot of practice and—"

She paused after looking over and realizing that Tony wasn't paying attention, she smirked mischievously, "I was going to wait to tell everyone, but, McGee and I are getting married."

After waiting a few moments, she realized he was really out there. As they reached his car she pulled him around to face her, slightly squeezing his arms, she cleared her throat, "Hey, wake up."

Blinking, he came to his senses, "Yea, I'm here…just thinking."

"Okay, do you want me to drive you home? Maybe just some company?" she asked hopefully.

Tony let out a deep breath, "Thanks Abs, I really appreciate it," pausing, he took one of Abby's hands from his shoulder and squeezed it, "but I really need to be alone tonight, just to think."

"Alright," she said with a hint of doubt in her voice, "but you call me if you need anything." Abby smiled, stretching out the syllables in the last word.

"I'll be fine." He said, turning to walk towards his car.

Abby sighed, not convinced with his last few words, she grabbed his good arm, "Tony—"

"Really Abs," he interrupted, "but I really just want to be left alone."

Leaning over to her, he gave her a reassuring, one-armed hug, "goodnight."

Even thought she was still worried, she smiled and returned the hug, "Night DiNozzo."

* * *

Tony stumbled into his apartment, singing very loudly, waking his neighbors. It wasn't very often he got drunk, but when he did he usually over-did it. He mistakenly closed the door too loudly behind him and he dropped his gear on the floor and plugged his ears, his stance in defense mode.

After waiting a few moments, he decided it was okay to turn back around and took the hands off his ears. Chuckling, he walked a few steps over to his couch and crashed for the night.

* * *

Even before he opened his eyes, he knew he had a huge hangover. Groaning, he blamed himself for sleeping on the couch; it always made him sore and cramp during the day, _"Thank goodness it's Saturday," he thought, "don't think I'll be doing much today."_

He barely opened his eyes then quickly closed them again, cussing to himself for forgetting to turn off the lights before he went to sleep. In cases like this, he would pull his blanket over his head and he'd keep it there all day; in college, he was called "Little Red Riding Hood" many times. Although embarrassing, it was effective.

Sadly for him, he'd fallen asleep so quickly he didn't have a blanket. Sighing, he made do, with his jacket, pulling it off and using it to cover his head. When he realized he wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, he finally deciding to get up and open his eyes.

Tony headed into his kitchen to get his "DiNozzo Defibrillator". When he looked over to his stove's clock, he was surprised when he realized it was 3 o'clock. He slept late in college a lot, but that was nearly 20 years ago.

When he began cracking the eggs into his drink, he flashbacked to having McGee explain to Ziva what this was. He didn't realize until now how everything since Ziva was left in Israel reminded him of her. All of the reminders were making his stomach church more and more.

Taking a sip of his remedy, he walked into his bedroom and struggled to get out of his now-wrinkled suit. Tony had found that when you have one arm in a sling it is _very_ difficult to change clothes. Sighing he tossed his suit onto his bed and just as he was about to pull on some sweats but decided to take a shower instead.

Feeling the water pelting his back had always helped him think, but right now that was not something he wanted to do. Now that his hangover was beginning to wear off, his thoughts were beginning to wander more and more back to Ziva and what she could possibly be doing.

He prayed she was okay; if she was back with Mossad, only God could know where she was or what she was doing, _"probably something illegal"_ had crossed his mind many times. After letting his thoughts haunt him a few moments more, he stepped out of the shower and began to dry off.

Once he had wrapped his towel around his waist, he checked his phone that he'd left on the sink; just in case someone…Ziva would decide to call him. His shoulders sagged when his call log was empty. Reaching over, he grabbed a hand towel and ran it through his hair then went back into his room and slowly put his Ohio State sweats on.

Checking his watch, he smiled when he remembered there was a game on today. He headed back into the living room then plopped on his couch. Right now he could use the relaxation and time where his mind was off Ziva for at least a few hours.

* * *

Tony threw his head back and brushed a hand over his face when the sports commentators announced that the Jonas Brothers would be singing all through halftime, "Uh, you've GOT to be kidding me!" He figured he had a good half hour, so he flipped off the TV then called to order a pizza.

Tony cleaned up his apartment from throwing his gear all over the floor last night. As he threw some laundry in the washer, his doorbell rang; checking his watch he knew even the fastest deliverers couldn't get here in 17 minutes. Walking to the door, he quickly ran a hand through his hair then looked through the peep hole, letting his agent side take over a little bit.

He smirked and opened the door, then leaned over and petted Jethro's head, the German Shepard that solved a case for them a few years back. Straightening back up, he smiled, "Pizza's coming, wanna watch the game with me?"

Tim nodded, "Sounds good!"

McGee took Jethro off his leash then the dog ran into Tony's room and jumped onto his bed, assuming his usual position. McGee often came over on Saturdays and would play video games, Tony had even introduced McGee to some of the classic films.

Even after dating for so many years on Saturdays, Tony still hadn't had more fun than having some guy time.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, cocked his head to the side, "Alright, spill McGoo. Abby told you to come check on me, didn't she?"

A nod from Tim confirmed his suspicions, "She's just worried about you Tony."

"In all seriousness, McGee, I just need some time to think," he sighed, letting some emotion creep into his voice, "She wa—is my partner, that's not something you can get over just like that."

Tim scratched the back of his neck, "Do you think…that things will ever get back to normal? Maybe if Ziva comes back…"

Tony shrugged, "Eventually things will get back into a routine, but I don't think things could ever be the same." He nodded towards McGee, "You were here when Kate died, you know that it's never been the same, but," he explained, "we've moved on. Getting Ziva added to our team is a new chapter for all of us, maybe we're just being told to turn another page."

Tim sighed, "But I don't want to turn another page, I want Ziva back."

Solemnly, Tony nodded, "Me too, McGoo, me too."

Interrupting their conversation, the pizza arrived. Tony was about to stand up when McGee put a hand on his shoulder, "I'll get it."

"Thanks." Tony said as he headed to his fridge and grabbed some beers. Once he came back, McGee was already taking a bite out of a piece.

Chuckling, he handed Tim a beer then turned the game back on. He was glad he had friends who cared, he only wished one of them was back next to him.

* * *

_A/N: I hope you guys liked chapter! If there is anything you'd like to see in this story, tell me, I just might put it in! ~Lynn D._


	3. Dinner

Tony sat as his desk with his head settled into his hands, gazing at the empty desk across from him. He knew the first workday without her would be difficult, but he also had the hope that the Director might be able to get some information on what was going on.

The moments that his mind weren't on Ziva were few, but he appreciated the brief escape. Thinking about her hurt more and more as the days progressed. A few moments later his mind drifted back to her, he had tried to call her a few times over the weekend, but each call had ended in disappointment as it went straight to voicemail.

Tony didn't even attempt to leave a message, he knew that nothing he could say within 15 seconds would make her come back. He really wanted to apologize at this point. Je just wanted to have his partner back but as his mind began focusing back to reality, the truth was that the desk was still empty no matter how badly he missed her.

For a little longer all he registered was the sound of McGee typing, catching up on some old cold case paperwork and research. He quickly snapped out of his trance when Gibbs came back with his 2nd cup of coffee for the day.

As he walked into the bullpen he announced there was a dead petty officer at a local bar. Tony sighed and put himself on auto-pilot, grabbing his fear and heading out to solve another case, _"just like any other day,"_ he thought as the pit in his stomach kept getting bigger.

* * *

As Tony was taking pictures of the body, McGee was just waiting for him to crack a joke or compare the crime scene to a movie. Petty Officer Amanda Jones had been killed in a men's bathroom and unfortunately, her head had landed in the bottom of an urinal.

It was almost impossible for McGee not to say something, he couldn't understand even after what had happened last week how Tony being Tony couldn't say anything. Gibbs noticed what McGee was looking at and stood for a few moments trying to figure out what to say to him.

After thinking for awhile, he figured it would be best to leave him be, "DiNozzo, go get the fingerprinting kit out of the truck."

Tony looked up from taking pictures, "Why can't Zi—" A wave of sadness graced his eyes as he put his head down and walked out of the door.

McGee sighed at his friend's mistake and flashbacked back to when he had made the same mistake when Kate had been killed.

* * *

The rest of the case had been a blur for the whole team as they worked through the absence of a team member. Thankfully, the case had ended up being an easy one and they all were let off of work on time that night.

Right when it hit 6 and Gibbs didn't stop him, Tony grabbed his gear and got onto the elevator. Both Gibbs and McGee watched the elevator curiously for a little while after it had closed but once again decided it would probably be best to just leave him be.

McGee stayed behind with Gibbs to finish the paperwork from their most recent case and as he turned to the last page of the file, Abby came running off the elevator. Once she had made a quick head count, she sighed and walked over to McGee's desk, "Are you almost finished?"

"Yes, I'm on the last page. Just give me a minute."

She nodded then wandered over to Gibbs' desk, "How was he today?"

Her boss looked up from his paperwork and shook his head, "Worse. You can't expect him to snap out of this, Abs. It does take time."

She nodded, "I just hope he remembers us when he is about to do something stupid."

Gibbs sighed as he signed his last report, "Me too Abs," he said as he stood up and kissed her on the cheek, "me too."

She turned back to Tim as Gibbs left for the night, "Where are you going to take me?" she asked excitedly.

A smile crossed his face, "It's your 7th anniversary of being at NCIS, I want to surprise you!"

"Agh! Fine. If you insist on torturing me more, you can at least hurry up and finish your reports so we can get out of here!"

A few seconds later, he got up, "Done!"

* * *

Less than 10 minutes later McGee and Abby were on the way to her surprise. Huffing, Abby scratched at the blindfold covering her eyes, "Is this _really_ necessary?"

McGee smirked as he turned the corner, "Yup."

"Will you at least tell me when we're almost there?"

"No need to, we're here!"

Abby smiled and hurriedly took off her blindfold, when she realized where they were, she leaned over and gave McGee a big hug, "Awh Timmy! You are the best!"

He shrugged, "Nah, I can just remember your favorite restaurant! You would never guess that a go—you would like Red Lobster!"

"Hey," she said defensively, "a girl is entitled to her opinion!"

Smiling, he looked across the street, "At least you don't have _that_ kind of opinion!" Winking, he got out of the car and opened the door for Abby.

Stepping out, she took a look at the bar, "You know, Timmy, us girls have standards."

McGee was worried he had hurt her feelings until she turned back around and took his arm. When he realized she was joking, he scratched his chin, "Guys do too, in fact, I have very high standards. Especially when it comes to who I go out with."

Abby blushed as she turned towards McGee and kissed him on the cheek, "That was very sweet, McGee. Thank you." She said softly as they headed into the restaurant.

* * *

"Oh, I ate way too much!" McGee exclaimed as they walked out of Red Lobster.

Abby let out a deep breath, "I did too," she agreed, "but it was worth it! Thank you again, McGee. If it wasn't for you I don't think anyone would remember my anniversary!"

"If there is one thing my sister has taught me, it is that a girl loves to be remembered."

"Well," she smiled, "your sis is definitely right!"

McGee checked his watch, "Abs, it's only 9, do you want to go play some games at my place for a couple hours, maybe a mov—" Tim was cut off by the sound of tires screeching, he looked up just in time to see a car coming out of the bar across the street crashing into a car driving along the main road.

Abby's eyes widened and she began running towards the scene. McGee didn't hesitate and quickly followed, "What is it?"

Ignoring his questions she moved past the driver of the car that had been on the main road who was yelling at the driver whom Abby was running towards. Slowing down a gasp escaped her lips, "Tony!"

* * *

Guest Reviews:

Guest (Chapter 2): I wasn't planning on doing full-force Tiva at the end of this story, if that is what you mean! It will (and did) take time for them to grow close again! Thanks for reviewing!

Guest (Chapter 2): Ziva was definitely mad at Tony in Aliyah, but he did kill her boyfriend! In Truth or Consequences she points out that she _was_ wrong and begins a new relationship with Tony! Thanks for reviewing!


	4. Wrecked

Abby closed the gap between her and Tony, and when she got there, she reached through the open window and placed her hand on his shoulder, "Tony, are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

The oncoming car had just missed the driver's door and had hit the backseat. When she realized he wasn't waking up she ran around to the passenger side and wiggled in next to him. Reaching over, she checked his pulse, even though she was sure the wreck wasn't severe enough to kill him. She let out a deep breath when she felt him breathing.

Abby began to softly pat his cheek, "Come on Tony, wake up." Sighing, she figured he had a slight concussion and it would take awhile to come out of it.

Getting out of the car, she walked over to McGee who was asking the driver what had happened. "McGee," she interrupted, "have you called 911 yet?"

"Yes, they'll be here soon." He replied flatly. Adding more interest to his voice he looked over to Tony, "How is he?"

She rubbed her forehead, "I think he'll be okay. Of course, after a night in the hospital and getting over one hell of a hangover."

Once Abby had finished explaining to McGee and the driver how he was doing, she saw the ambulance coming down the road with a police car close behind. As they got closer she got back into the car to sit next to Tony and she let her sisterly instincts take over. Craning her neck around Tony's head she saw the paramedics coming, a man and a woman.

Once they reached the car, they exchanged greetings and Abby briefly described what had happened and what condition Tony was in.

The woman scrunched down to the window level of the car and lifted her hand to check his pulse when Abby shook her head, "I already checked it, it's a little slow but that is expected."

"Yes ma'am," the young paramedic nodded, "it's just procedure."

McGee was over with the other paramedic getting the gurney out of the ambulance but he could almost feel Abby getting annoyed. He knew she despised being called 'ma'am'.

As the young paramedic continued checking Tony over, she looked to Abby, "It looks to me like he has a mild concussion."

Abby cocked her head to the side, becoming more and more possessive of Tony, "Yes," she said gravely, "I already came to that conclusion."

Looking up, the paramedic smiled with interest, "Are you a doctor?"

"No," Abby said, "I'm a scientist."

"Oh, then how do yo—never mind" said the paramedic as Abby began to give her the death stare. Clearing her throat, she walked over to her superior, "He is unconscious; probably a concussion," she reported, then lowered her voice, "it's pretty hard to find out anything else with that Goth hovering over him like a bat."

"You are going to have to deal with all kinds on your own and you won't have me all the time to come running and tell you what to do." He paused then took another look at Abby, "But, in this case, I'll help. It looks like she is pretty possessive of him, if you want to get anywhere, you are going to have to humor her."

"Fine," the young girl sighed, then turned around and headed back over to Abby.

When Abby saw her coming, she hurriedly turned her head back to Tony, not ready to admit she'd heard everything; she decided she would have some fun first.

Turning her gaze to the paramedic she resumed her death stare, "Did you have any more questions or are you done wasting time so we can get Tony to the hospital? Or would you rather watch me 'hover' more?"

Blushing, the paramedic cleared her throat, "No ma'am, we can get him in the ambulance now."

A faint snicker escaped the scientist's lips as they got Tony to the ambulance.

* * *

McGee checked his watch as Abby snuggled more into his chest. She had been at Tony's side for hours waiting for him to wake up but the day's activities had taken their toll on her. Tim stifled a yawn, he was used to being asleep for hours by 2 a.m. Looking up, he gently shook Abby as the doctor who they had been waiting for all night had finally shown up.

"What is it Mc—Oh." She stood up and shook the doctor's hand, "I'm Abby Sciuto, this is Agent McGee," she said, pointing towards her friend. McGee stood up and greeted the doctor as well.

"I'm Doctor Hanes," began the physician, "I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get to you, but we've had a pretty busy night."

"I can see that," said Abby curtly, "will you tell me how Tony is now?" she asked, getting impatient.

"Yes, of course Miss Scuito. Agent DiNozzo has sustained a head injury from the accident, but thankfully it wasn't anything too serious. We did a MRI on his head just to make sure there was no trauma. The results just came back for that and they were normal. We did, however, have to sedate him for the MRI. If he was to wake up during it and he has some memory loss that could have resulted in extreme confusion."

Tim stepped in, "It sounds like everything seems to be in order so as far as you can tell while he is still sedated. When should he be waking up?"

Checking his watch, Doctor Hanes replied, "It should be fairly soon for the sedative to wear off, but I don't know how long he will sleep on his own."

After a few seconds of an awkward silence, the doctor gave the pair a reassuring smile then headed out to check on his other patients.

Once Abby had checked on Tony once more, she looked over to Tim, "What should we do? I mean, do you think we should call Gibbs?"

McGee let out a deep breath, trying to clear his mind, "Why don't we go down the cafeteria and think over some coffee."

Abby smiled brightly and took McGee's arm, "That sounds great!"

* * *

Abby reached over and took McGee's hand that was resting on the booth's table, "I'm sorry this evening didn't end the way yo—we had planned. But I do thank you for everything."

McGee set his coffee cup down on the table, "I'm glad you aren't too disappointed, but you are right, there really wasn't anything else we could do…maybe we can re-schedule our game night?" he asked hopefully.

Abby smiled and re-assured him, "That sounds like a great plan, Timmy." Settling back against the booth she sighed and closed her eyes, trying to get a little bit of rest before they went back to up to Tony's room.

Breaking her slumber a few minutes later the intercom came on through the whole building, "Will Miss Sciuto and Agent McGee please come to Agent DiNozzo's room."

As the intercom repeated Abby's eyes popped open. She jumped up from the table, grabbed McGee's hand and they ran to the elevator. As they rode the elevator she prayed everything was okay. After what seemed like an eternity the elevator finally stopped at Tony's floor.

Getting off they hustled to his room and Abby's heart skipped a beat as she saw there were doctors and nurses standing outside of his room who were trying to catch a glimpse of what was going on. McGee got in front of Abby so he could elbow through the crowd of people to get to Tony.

Once they were inside and had shut the door on all the staff, Abby rushed to Tony's bedside. Looking to the doctor and nurse that were assigned to him her heart dropped. He was looking to anyone he could find and asking desperately for the one person no one could find, "I need Ziva. Where is Ziva?" he repeated.

* * *

_Guest Review:_

_Mishka (Chapter 3): Thank you so much! I'm glad that you like the story! Thank you for reviewing, they make my day!_


	5. Who Are You?

Abby quickly sat down at Tony's side and put her hand to his forehead. "Hey, Tony, look at me. Calm down."

A confused expression crossed his face. "Do I know you? What happened?"

Abby's heart dropped. "I'm Abby," turning to Tim who was standing behind her to give her some support, she put on a smile, "and this is McGee. We work with you." Noticing he still wasn't following, she tried a little harder. "At NCIS. You are an agent…you've been working there for 7 years."

He looked into her eyes, trying to search for anything—just a spark of remembrance. "I'm sorry—Abby, was it?" A nod from the scientist encouraged him to go on. "I just…just can't remember." He uttered sadly. Sighing, he put his hand to his head, trying to relieve some of the pressure. "The only thing I _can_ remember is Ziva. I don't know how I know her, but I just know. Can I see her? Maybe she could help me remember something…"

Biting her lip, Abby looked to McGee for some guidance. "She, er, isn't reachable," she said cryptically. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them. Letting out a yawn, he looked back to Abby who was smiling at him. "You are tired. Get some rest. We'll talk more then you wake up. Maybe you'll remember more after some rest."

Nodding, he pulled the cover up over his fractured arm then turned over onto his side, away from the pair. Abby gently put her hand onto his back and waited until his breathing evened out.

Once he had fallen asleep, she got up and went into McGee's open arms. "Thanks," she smiled as she fell limp into his chest. After she had let go, she looked into McGee's eyes. "I think it's time to call Gibbs."

* * *

The shrill of Gibbs' cell phone woke him up out of a deep sleep. Brushing a hand over his face he sat up on his couch and picked the phone off of his coffee table. "Yea, Gi—"

"Gibbs!" Abby sniffled, "its Tony."

"Abs, slow down. What happened to Tony?"

"He got into a wreck," she explained, trying to slow down. "He's in the hospital."

"Bethesda?" asked Gibbs, grabbing his shoes.

"Yes. When they heard he was an agent, they were the first place that dispatch called."

"Okay, I'm on my way." Before Gibbs hung up, she hurriedly added, "We're in room 741."

"Gotcha, Abs. I'll be there in 20."

As Gibbs was on his way to Bethesda, thoughts were racing through his head. In his experience hearing someone was in an accident usually didn't end well. Pulling into the nearest parking spot he could find, Gibbs turned off the engine then ran into the building, dodging as many people as he could then got onto the nearest elevator.

* * *

"Abs, Gibbs will be here soon. Why don't you go freshen up?" McGee suggested, noting the mascara that had stained her face as she had been crying. Nodding, she walking into the en suite bathroom. "McGee!" she exclaimed. "How long have I been like this?"

A faint smile crossed his face. "Not long," he reassured her.

"Thank goodness," she laughed, while she finished wiping off the makeup, alleviating some of the stress in the room. "I looked like a raccoon!" she admitted as she walked back to McGee. After taking another look at Tony, she was relieved to know he was resting peacefully.

"Abs," Gibbs said softly, coming into the room, not wanting to wake Tony, "how is he?"

His response was an overpowering hug. "Gibbs," Abby sniffled, "thanks for coming." For a few moments she held tight to her boss, welcoming the comfort. She was glad that she hadn't had time to re-apply any eye makeup because she was already wiping away more tears.

Gibbs let Abby cry a little bit longer, then pulled away slightly. Putting a hand to her face, he looked into her eyes, "It's going to be okay, Abs."

After letting a couple seconds pass he walked over to Tony and shook his head. "What'd DiNozzo do now?"

Sighing, Tim walked to his boss' side. "Abby and I were on—going out to dinner and when we came out, we saw the wreck and Abby recognized his car. The doctor's say he has a slight concussion and he also has memory loss. He couldn't remember who we were. I think the doctors were going to do an x-ray on his arm. They think he broke his radius where the fracture was."

"When did this happen?"

"Around 9," Abby helped.

Gibbs lifted his gaze off Tony. "And you just now decided to call me?"

Abby's shoulders dropped. "I'm sorry, Gibbs. We didn't know how serious it was until…"

"Until what?" Gibbs asked, worriedly. He knew that when Tony got depressed it could get really bad and he was sure this was no exception. It'd probably be worse.

"Timmy and I went down to the cafeteria to get some coffee…and we were called back up. When we got up here he was calling for Ziva." Abby let out a deep breath, trying not to start crying again. When Gibbs noticed this, he couldn't help himself and went over to give her another warm hug. "Oh Gibbs, it was awful," she said, sniffling, letting her tears stain his shirt. "I've never seen Tony like this. Not even when Kate died. He looked so sad and confused—begging for her."

He nodded into her neck then patted her back. "It's okay, Abs. We'll get DiNozzo back to his normal self."

McGee chuckled. "Are you sure you want that?" A glare from Gibbs made McGee retreat back to his normal state.

"I hope so," Abby said. "I just lost Ziva, I can't lose Tony too."

"Tony is not going anywhere. You've got to calm down, Abs." She sighed and let go of her boss, then went and stood next to McGee.

After comforting her, McGee went to Gibbs. "Boss," he said warily, "it's nearly 3a.m., what should we do?"

"It looks like DiNozzo is going to sleep the rest of the night. Why don't you two go back to your own places, get some rest. I'll stay with him."

"Are you sure, Gibbs?" Abby asked.

"Yes—go, get out of here!" he said, waving them out of the room as he sat in the chair next to the hospital bed. That is when Gibbs really began to let the worry set in.

* * *

Tim was lost in thought on the long drive back to his place. Bethesda was 20 minutes away from NCIS and he was 25 minutes in the opposite direction from work so, Abby had been fast asleep in the passenger seat for a while now. When he had suggested they just crash at his place for the night, Abby had no objections.

Thoughts were racing through his mind. He missed Ziva so much. When Kate was alive he had always thought of her as his sweet superhero. Since Ziva had been at NCIS, he thought of her the same way more and more every day, _"except she's more killer than Kate ever was, so Ziva would just be considered his assassin ninja superhero."_ Chuckling, he took the exit ramp that was only a few minutes away from his apartment.

Once McGee had gotten Abby awake, out of the car, and up into his apartment he was able to let out a sigh of relief. With all the drama that had gone on in the past hours, he didn't need anymore.

* * *

_A/N: What did you think? I'd love to hear your opinions! ~Lynn D._


	6. A New Day

_A/N: I did not intend for this chapter to be up so late! I tried posting it early yesterday morning and this website has given me grief since then. I'm sorry this has taken so long to get you guys, but I couldn't do anything about it! ~Lynn D._

* * *

As the minutes ticked by, McGee watched Abby sleep in his bed. When they had both crashed in his bed last night, Abby had fallen back asleep nearly immediately but he just laid there staring at the ceiling and let his thoughts haunt him. A few hours later he had moved to the chair near his bed so he didn't disturb Abby with all the tossing and turning he had been doing.

So many times he had held in his feelings about everything; Kate, Paula, Jenny, and now Ziva. He felt he had to stay strong for the team and especially Abby. After Kate had been killed, he spent countless nights writing as much as he could so he would be sure to never forget her. His writing before had always been for fun, just an innocent hobby.

Now, he wrote about all his co-workers, adding in their quirks so he wouldn't forget. With the line of work they were in, he never knew the last time he would see them would be. It was like he was publishing his own journal. McGee had always considered Gibbs' team to be his family since he never really had a family growing up. He had spent his time locked away in his room playing around with computers. His father, Admiral McGee, liked being alone, so Tim made sure to keep it that way.

Breaking him from his thoughts, his cell phone rang. "Agent McGee."

"McGee," Gibbs said gruffly, "Tony woke up. Abby will want to see him, take your time."

"Sure Boss, we'll be there in awhile." Hanging up, he went over to Abby's side and rubbed her back. "Abs, Tony woke up."

She let out a yawn and rolled to face him. "What time is it?"

"About 7."

Rolling out of bed, she gave him a good morning hug. "I'm going to take a quick shower." Kissing his cheek she smiled. "Be back soon."

As Abby walked towards the bathroom, he watched her longingly; he loved having her around and near him. Hearing the water being turned on, he headed into the kitchen and started up a bacon and eggs breakfast, forgetting the past for the time being.

* * *

Tony wrinkled his brow. "_You're_ my boss? Aren't you kind of old to be a NCIS agent?"

Gibbs snickered, leaning back in his chair. "Probably, but yes, I am."

After waiting a few moments to let Tony try to remember more, he worked harder on helping him. "How much do you remember now?"

"Well," Tony began slowly, "I remember Kate. She was my…my partner, right?" Gibbs nodded. "And the Probie…oh yes, and Abby. I know I'm missing a lot. I can feel it."

"You're doing fine, DiNozzo," his boss encouraged. "Abby and McGee are going to be here in a while, try and get some rest. Maybe by the time they get here you'll recall more."

As he fell asleep, Gibbs let out a sigh. He was really worried about Tony. If all he could remember was people and not events, it would take more than sleep to bring back his memory.

* * *

Coming out of the bedroom, Abby's eyes widened. "Is that bacon I smell?" Walking into the kitchen, her smile became bigger. "_And_ eggs? You're the best, Timmy!" Giving him a hug, she stole a piece of bacon.

"Hey!" McGee frowned, but it quickly turned into a smile. "Okay, okay, go sit down, I'll bring you your plate.

Tim could feel the stress being lifted off of both of their shoulders. Laughter filled the apartment over their breakfast. He was so glad to see Abby beginning to relax. As she rambled on about her college days, he admired her raven black hair that was spooling over her shoulders; it reminded of when she had stayed over at his place when her ex-boyfriend was after her. Now that she seemed calm, he was able to relax.

Sighing, Gibbs looked over at Tony again. He was still asleep but he could tell the shock and pain killers were beginning to wear off and the memory loss was settling in more and more. DiNozzo had a hurt expression on his face, almost like he was trying so hard to remember something—things being right on the tip of his tongue—but it just wouldn't come to him.

Looking over to the door, he saw Abby peeking in. Smirking a bit, he waved her in with McGee not far behind. "Hey Abs," he smiled sadly.

Biting her lip, she looked over to Tony. "Is he any better? Does he remember anything more?"

"He remembers a few faces and some names to go with them, but he still is blank on events, which isn't good."

"It's only been a day," encouraged McGee, putting his hand on Abby's back. "I'm sure things will start coming back with time."

"Yea," Abby agreed, "like you, Gibbs. It took you nearly a week to remember the basics after the explosion, but a lot longer to remember details. I think time will be our friend in this case."

"I hope so." Gibbs sighed, running a hand over his face. "I don't want one stupid mistake to determine the next years of his life."

Letting a small smile grace her lips, she leaned over and gave her troubled boss a reassuring hug. "He'll be fine." _I hope, s_he thought.

After another long day at the hospital, Abby and McGee pushed Gibbs to go home so they could take the next shift. Tony had only woken up once the whole day and that was just for a meal he hardly touched, which McGee noted was very un-DiNozzo like. He had remembered who Abby and McGee were, but still not exactly _how_ he knew them. Once he had fallen back to sleep, Abby began to understand where Gibbs was coming from. This could end up being really bad.

* * *

_A/N: What'd you think of this update? Tell me below! _


	7. Remembrance

Day by day, Abby, Gibbs, and McGee spent their time with Tony, trying to spark any bit of remembrance. Some things were coming back to him, but overall he was still in the dark. They knew even just a word would do the trick.

Gibbs had taken vacation time, allowing the next-best team at NCIS to take on their case load. Vance had only visited once and it had resulted in a very awkward 45 minutes and only ended up in confusing Tony more since he still didn't even remember Jenny. It wasn't until McGee decided to turn on the TV that things started to look up. As he was flipping through the channels, he ran across an Ohio State basketball game.

Leaning forward in his chair, he looked over to Tony who was dozing. "Hey, Tony," McGee said as he nudged his good arm. "Does this remind you of anything?"

Waking up, he sat up and looked intently to the screen. The past few days Tony had been doing all he could to remember something, so he hoped today would be the day things would start to become clearer.

After watching the game for nearly 20 minutes, both men were beginning to become discouraged, but when a player fell on the court and appeared to be injured, something hit Tony like a tornado. He just sat there for a few moments, letting what appeared to him be like snippets of a movie, pour into his mind.

Once they finally came to a halt, he turned to Tim with an overjoyed and refreshed expression. "McGee!" he exclaimed. "I remember being sick in—in a bluish room…with Dr. Pitt! And Kate was there, right?"

A smile was enveloping McGee's face. He was extremely relived that things were starting to come back. "Can you remember why and how you were sick?" he asked hopefully.

After desperately thinking for a few moments, Tim could almost see his co-workers' light bulb go off. "Yes! I took an envelope from you—and we had to take a shower. Then Kate…she had a cold so she had to go with me." Pausing for a bit, a grave expression crossed his face. "I almost died, didn't I McGee?" A faint nod confirmed a memory Tony wasn't sure he was too thrilled to remember.

"But," McGee smiled, "you didn't. Now, think really hard. What were you there for?"

Scratching his forehead he racked his brain and he suddenly remembered. "It was the plague," he answered solemnly. "Whoa. McGee, if there is something in my life you don't think I'll want to remember…"

Smirking, McGee shook his head. "Tony, this is _your_ life you are remembering, good and bad. You may never remember all the details of your life in depth, but I am going to do my absolute best to get you to remember everything. What has happened in your life makes you who you are and if you don't know who you are then you can't be Tony DiNozzo and if you aren't Tony DiNozzo, then you wouldn't be you—the class clown, the one we all love even if we won't admit it."

A humbled expression crossed Tony's face. "Thanks McGee. That means a lot. Now," he sighed, "let's see if I can remember anything else."

* * *

The rest of the day Gibbs, Abby, and McGee continued to help Tony get his memory back. Around 4 after thinking hard for nearly 6 hours, Tony fell asleep. Gibbs had gone to NCIS Headquarters to catch Vance up on what was going on and also to catch up on some long over-do paperwork. While he was gone, Abby and McGee played double solitaire to keep an eye on Tony and to spend some quality time together.

* * *

"…and what was your job before you came to NCIS?" asked Doctor Hanes, making sure Tony was really ready to go home like he had been insisting for the whole morning that he was.

Smiling, Tony confidently replied, "Baltimore PD."

"Another one right! I'm glad to hear that you are re-gaining your memory. We were beginning to worry it would take much, much longer."

Abby looked to Tony then the Doctor with a huge smile on her face. "Can he go home today? I mean, he is doing much better health wise and can remember a lot more now."

Analyzing his options for a few moments, the doctor finally nodded his head in approval. With that, Abby jumped up and threw her arms around the doctor. "Thank you!"

After she pulled away, Doctor Hanes shook his surprised expression, and then continued. "Under one condition, there has to be someone with him for 48 hours and he can't drive for 2 weeks until his arm begins to heal and re-gain its strength."

Clearing his throat, McGee stood up and walked towards the physician. "I'll keep an eye on him for the 48 hours and…"

"And I'll drive him," Gibbs announced as he walked into the hospital room, finally returning from NCIS which they were sure had been an extremely long night. After the doctor had left the room, his remaining team caught him up on everything that had happened while he was gone.

With all of the happiness in the room, Gibbs couldn't bear to tell them the news that he had been told the night before.

* * *

_A/N: I hope everyone liked this update! Please tell me what you thought of this chapter! ~Lynn D._


	8. Aftermath

A knock on the door woke Tony out of a deep sleep. After realizing where he was and what had happened, he got out of bed and ran to the door. "Hi Boss," he said sheepishly as Gibbs walked in, looking at him with a disgruntled expression. "I'm sorry I'm not ready. I guess I slept through my alarm," Tony said as he stood there for a few moments, but after a look from Gibbs he ran into his room and began getting dressed.

Going into the kitchen, Gibbs poured a glass of water and grabbed Tony's pain meds from the counter, and then walked back to the agent's room where he was nearly dressed in appropriate work attire. "You know what I said about apologizes, DiNozzo," Gibbs said, referring to Tony's previous comment.

"Right," he said, as if storing that information in his head to the best of his ability. According to his teammates, he'd remembered the majority of his life, but there will still many times he had to take a moment to recall an old case or file that pertained to their investigation.

He had been back at work for over a week now and all of the strange looks had begun to come to a stop, which Tony was very happy about. He wasn't a big fan of the non-stop questions about what it had been like being completely uncertain of what had happened in his life or all the strange glaring. The first case back for him had been interesting, to say the least. Tony was glad that McGee had been there to help him sharpen up on all of the procedures, but overall he was getting back into the groove fairly easy.

"Here," Gibbs said as he handed Tony the water and pain meds, "take these."

Tony cracked a smile, but after yet another glare from Gibbs, he hurriedly took them then the agents were on their way to work.

* * *

As Gibbs and DiNozzo walked off the elevator and towards their desks, McGee called them up to MTAC from the catwalk.

Dropping their gear in the bullpen, they headed up the stairs. "What is it, McGoo?" Tony asked, beginning to get his beloved personality back, much to the dismay of Tim.

"The Director has ordered just our team up to MTAC. He hasn't told me anything. I think he wants to wait to tell us all at once." As they filed into the room, McGee noticed Gibbs' face turning white. After seeing this, he knew what the Director was about to tell them wasn't going to be good.

As the team sat down in the row of seats in front of the Director, Vance had all of the personnel leave the room so it was just Gibbs' team and him. He waited a few moments to gather himself then clearing his throat, he began.

"As you all know, Ziva was left in Israel a few weeks ago. Well, we received word last week that she is off of our grid. As of now, we don't know where she is. Even though she isn't an NCIS agent, I know you're all worried about her," he paused, "including me. Eli has the right to her, but she _is_ our liaison officer and still owes us her services."

Tony cocked his head to the side. "Is that what you are going to tell Eli to convince him to give her back to us?"

Vance smirked. "Sounds like it isn't taking you long to remember how things are done around here."

Turning to Gibbs, the Director grunted. "Have you found anything?"

Sighing, he shook his head. "No, I asked a few people that owed me favors but I still didn't get anything."

McGee wrinkled his brow, but it was Tony who spoke first. "I know my mind is still a little fuzzy, but…am I missing something?"

"No, DiNozzo, you're not," Vance said as he shifted from one foot to the other. "I told Gibbs what I'm telling you now while you were in the hospital." Pausing, he looked to Gibbs who seemed to be listening intently. "Since he was my best agent on hand, I had him get a head start on looking for her." Taking a moment, he sat down next to his agents. "I'm just as worried as all of you. She's a damn good agent and I don't want to lose her either.

* * *

As the days turned into weeks, Tony fully regained his memory and the loss of Ziva was really starting to hurt him. He tried his best to keep his feelings out of work, but soon everything just turned into a blur.

When McGee mentioned to Gibbs that he thought it was time to get a replacement for Ziva, he tried to play along with his normal DiNozzo self, but inside his heart was hurting. He never wanted for Ziva to leave, and now the thought of replacing her made him sick to his stomach.

After his conversation with Gibbs in MTAC about there being 'an increased presence of Mossad in North Africa' Tony was sure there was something wrong, really wrong.

McGee began to notice Tony withdrawing from everything, so he stepped in and decided to do something about it. At the end of a case, Gibbs let them off work on time, so Tim took the opportunity.

As he saw the elevator's doors close on their boss, he turned his desk light off then walked over to Tony's desk. "I'm taking you out to dinner, no objections."

"McGoo," Tony pleaded, "I'm fine. I just want to go home."

Tim shook his head. "No, I just said no objections. Come on." McGee hated to be this hard on his friend, but he just considered it tough love, in a matter of speaking.

* * *

McGee tried to keep a conversation going, but he could tell Tony wasn't paying the least bit of attention to him. "Doc pulled the plug on my Dimarco interview, said the strain was too much for his weakened heart."

Tony wasn't even trying to pay attention anymore. Every time he had tried, his mind just wandered back to Ziva. "_Was she the one who was captured? Or was she just trying to start a new life?_ _Maybe with a new man…"_ he wondered.

He sighed then mindlessly replied to McGee, "Yea."

Tim looked up, still worried about Tony, but continued. "Gibbs signed off on the new girl, Rebecca Hastings. Seems like a pistol. Or a firecracker, I guess a spitfire."

Fed up of hearing about the replacement for Ziva, Tony got up and headed towards the car. McGee knew what was bothering him, so he quickly put money on the table for their hardly touched dinner then caught up to his partner on the corner.

Trying to pull Tony out of his trance, he smirked. "I've been thinking of buying some tight red leather pants. You know, something that really cradles my butt."

Normally DiNozzo would have been kidding McGee about that comment for weeks, but all of his thoughts were focused onto Ziva. "That's not normal."

"I'm kidding," McGee replied, "I'm not really goi—"

"—It's not normal that we haven't heard from Ziva," Tony interjected as they crossed the street. "I mean nothing," he continued. "Not this much time. It's just not normal."

"Maybe she just wants to make a clean break of it," McGee considered.

"Well, maybe from some us," Tony said, nearing the car, "but not all of us. Unless you did something to her you aren't telling me about," he suggested, leaning onto the roof of the car. "It's _not_ normal." Tony repeated.

McGee followed Tony's lead and leaned on the car and agreed. "No, it's not."

"Thank you!" Tony exclaimed, relieved that someone was finally beginning to see his point of view. "What if she can't contact us, huh?" Tony continued, already beginning to share his theories with McGee. "What if something is stopping her?"

"Or someone," Tim added.

"Yea," Tony sighed, "I'm not the only one thinking this, am I?"

"No."

"And you know Gibbs is thinking about it too, he's not talking about it, but he's definitely sniffing around," Tony said, beginning to get worked up.

"So what are you going to do about it?" asked McGee.

"Everything I can," Tony said with confidence. "I'm going to start digging."

"Well, you can't do it alone," supported Tim.

"You going to stop me?"

"That's not what I said," McGee said as he got into the car.

The rest of their evening was spent trying to decide what they were going to do about finding Ziva. They soon agreed it would be smart to get Abby's help.

* * *

The next day they went down to the Goth's lab and told her what they had been discussing the night before. "I can't believe you were going to leave me out!" Abby exclaimed.

"It wasn't personal," Tony assured her.

"It was for your own benefit," helped McGee.

"So which was it?" Abby demanded.

"It was hubris, you know, McGee thought he could do it without you, and he was wrong. He was so wrong," DiNozzo replied, following Abby around the lab.

"No, no, no. Abby, Abby. I was the one that wanted to enlist your help," stuttered McGee.

"Can we get past this?" Tony asked, wanting to get to finding Ziva as fast as possible.

"Please," Abby smirked.

McGee decided it was time to tell Abby everything. "We've been tracking Ziva's movements as best we can."

"Since when?" Abby questioned.

"Since she stayed in Israel," Tim helped.

"And took Rivkin's place on the Kidon unit. I've been doing the same thing," Abby said, surprising the two agents. "I mean, it's weird that Ziva hasn't contacted me. It'd be one thing if she just hadn't picked up the phone and called me, but I've tried to reach her several different ways."

Tony's interest was definitely peaked. "Psychics, crystals, or telepathy?" he joked.

Abby inwardly sighed. "No jokes, okay? Ziva is universally absent. And it's freaking me out."

_"You aren't the only one." Tony thought._

"All right," McGee said, "let's compare notes here. We've got NCIS on the ground in Dubai trying to figure out what Mossad is up to."

"While Mossad is trying to figure out what some terrorist is doing," Tony added.

"And somewhere in the middle of this is Ziva," said Abby.

"And we know that Gibbs thinks the Director knows more than he is letting on," McGee reminded them.

"And no one is telling us anything," Abby said, beginning to brainstorm their options. "So, we have 2 options," she decided after a few moments.

"And they are both illegal," McGee said, channeling onto her thoughts. "Hack into Mossad, or hack into Vance."

"Oh, that's it." Rebecca said, surprising the team from behind them. "I'm out of here, I'm done," she said, quickly getting out of there, heading up to Vance's office to tell him what she'd heard, only to get an assured comment that things would be 'taken care of'. Vance knew more than well what was going on down in Abby's lab.

A wave of relief washed over Tony. He was glad she was out of their way now.

"So much for the daredevil," McGee joked.

"Forget about her," Tony said, ready to find Ziva.

"Whatever," Abby said curtly. "Let's get hacking."

* * *

Within the week, they had already found a new agent to take Rebecca's place, but Tony weren't about to let another new girl on their team.

After taking her into interrogation all he could think about was him in there with Ziva, and he wasn't going to let someone take her place. All he could say was what he'd been feeling since he'd met her. "Not hiring, sorry to waste your time."

* * *

Tony came down to the lab to see if Abby and McGee had found anything with their infamous hacking. While they were explaining to him a Hebrew lullaby and a connection to the mysterious Damacles, Gibbs came into the lab and told them the news Vance had just informed him about.

"Damacles went down in a storm, 28th of May. Off the coast of Somalia…There were no survivors." Abby immediately started breaking down in McGee's arms and Tony just stood there knowing that his partner was gone forever.


	9. On The Way

_A/N: SURPRISE! :D I figured I'd surprise you guys and put this up a day early! This is my favorite chapter so far of this story, and I hope it's yours too! When you've finished reading, leave a review and tell me what you think! Have a great weekend! ~Lynn D._

* * *

For the first few days after Tony had been told there were no survivors, he was trying to stay as positive as possible, but after the shock began to wear off, so did his positive attitude. He started to go back to the bar, but after Abby caught him and she forbade him to go back. She had McGee keep tabs on him when he wasn't at NCIS and she always had eyes on him using the GPS on his phone.

Even though Tony had been "forbidden" to go to the bar, he had been taking advantage of his own collection of alcohol. He spent his nights with a bottle of bourbon taking after his boss and watching old Hitchcock films. Gibbs had suggested he take some vacation days to clear his head, but Tony needed some kind of outlet and shooting bad guys seemed to provide him with that.

After a month, however, the outlet wore off and he began to bottle everything up inside. Soon his work days became one big blur. It was like he was no longer able to function properly and concentration was definitely out of the question.

Tony felt as if he was never awake, like this was all some nightmare and he had no idea how to wake up. Whenever they weren't out in the field, he spent his days staring at his partner's empty desk. Everything flew by him like a blur, and one day he decided it was time to bring everything to a screeching halt.

After hearing "grab your gear" from his boss countless times, he stood and let out a deep breath. "No." As McGee stood up from his boss' order, he froze.

Gibbs was taken aback, but wasn't completely shocked by what Tony said. He had noticed his agent's strange behavior, but didn't blame him. "No?" Gibbs questioned.

Tony began to explain his outburst. "We have an obligation. Saleem Olman has got to be stopped...before one more person dies," he added sincerely.

McGee was still shocked by Tony's behavior, but wasn't about to say anything.

Gibbs nodded; happy his agent had taken the initiative and still hadn't given up on his partner. "Make your case."

From then on, it was like Tony had been shaken to full consciousness and he was well aware of what had to be done to stop Saleem. Hell, he'd been thinking about it for nearly a month now.

Every spare second that Tony had, he was researching Saleem and trying to find where he was located. Tony had worked as hard as he could on his case for a little over 3 weeks and he was finally ready to present it to Director Vance and Gibbs. He was full of anticipation and maybe even some happiness as he was presenting all of his findings to them, but he was crushed when Vance didn't agree.

As Tony walked out of the Director's office, Gibbs shared a look with Vance then followed his senior agent out. "Hey," Gibbs said, stopping Tony. "Is that it?"

"Yea," Tony said, almost feeling like he failed Ziva, or her spirit. He wasn't quite sure which. "What else is there?" he asked sadly.

"Well, maybe we send a couple of agents to the region." Gibbs said, implying he wasn't the only one thinking about how to find Saleem.

"What for?"

"Gather some intel," Gibbs replied cryptically. "Put some eyes on the target. Change the circumstances."

Tony wasn't sure if it was still his mind trying to clear up, or he was truly missing something. "Change…the circumstances?"

"Yeah."

"And you can sell this to Vance?" Tony asked, wondering just how much influence Gibbs had in that office.

"Oh yeah. Strictly, investigatively." Gibbs answered.

Smiling, Tony was starting to get it. "Of course."

Gibbs was relieved Tony was beginning to catch on and chuckled.

"Of course," Tony repeated. "Wow. You guys have a whole little thing going on that I'm not seeing, but I get it. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Bob's your uncle. I'm hip. I dig it," Tony said, channeling back into his DiNozzo self.

"Good." Gibbs replied with a slight smile, "'cause I need volunteers."

Without question, Tony continued. "I volunteer myself and Special Agent McGee for the secret fact-finding mission thingy that's not secret, in the Sahara." He knew McGee would be glad to go and help find Saleem. _"Maybe even Ziva,"_ he thought hopefully. Breaking himself from his thoughts, he wrinkled his brow. "What are you going to do?"

Smirking, Gibbs walked away. "You don't want to know."

Tony could feel a whole new world being opened up to him, full of adventure. He felt excited again for once in a long time. "Good talk."

After McGee got over the shock of being told he'd been volunteered for a what could be deadly mission in the desert, things didn't take long to get on the road.

The morning team Gibbs left for Somalia, nerves were running high. Tony's alarm went off at 4:30 a.m. for their 7 a.m. flight. He jumped into the shower to try and relax himself as well as to wake himself up. Tony usually did well getting up early, but this morning was different. He knew there was a good chance he wouldn't be coming back.

Drying off, he wrapped the towel around his waist then started some pancakes. It was going to be a long flight and he wasn't about to eat that nasty airplane food. After mixing up the batter and putting them into the heated pan, he went into the living room and put extra food into Kate's fishbowl. No one knew how long they would be gone.

Throwing on a comfy t-shirt and jeans, he ran into the kitchen remembering his cooking breakfast. Grabbing a spatula off the counter, he flipped his pancakes just in the nick of time then ate them right out of the pan. He didn't have time for luxuries like plates.

Noticing the stove's clock reading 5 a.m., he quickly rinsed off the dishes, grabbed his duffel bag out of his room, slipped on his shoes and headed out of the door. The ride to Dulles Airport was nearly a blur for Tony as his adrenaline was beginning to run through his veins and the anticipation was rising high.

Pulling into the airport's secured parking lot, he walked into the building and sat down on the nearest bench, waiting for McGee and Gibbs. They would have usually taken the NCIS cargo plane, but since this mission wasn't "really happening", they were trying to stay on the down-low. Not that Tony was complaining. His butt had just about enough bouncing on the beltway.

While he waited, he was amused by the little kids coming off the red-eye flights with their parents. A few of them were wide awake, probably on a sugar high, but most of them were struggling to even put one foot in front of the other. In the midst of waving at a few of them, Gibbs came up behind him and smirked. "Enjoying yourself, DiNozzo?"

Turning around quickly, Tony straightened up and put on his famous grin. "Hi Boss. Good morning."

Nodding, Gibbs took a seat next to Tony. After a few moments of silence, Tony turned to his boss and became somber. "What do you think is going to happen?"

"I think my agents are going to do their best to complete this mission." Pausing, he let out a sigh. "Tony, I believe in you and McGee. You are two of the best I could ask for and are more than suited for this challenge ahead of you. All I ask of you is to—"

"—I know Boss," Tony interjected, "go until you say we've done all we can. Until you're satisfied."

"No DiNozzo, until _you_ are satisfied. Understand?"

McGee came walking into the airport looking as if he'd had a restless night. "Sounds like something I've heard before. It's good advice Tony. Take it."

The agents passed through security without any trouble then headed to their terminal. Once they dropped their carry-on bags next to a group of chairs in the near-empty airport, McGee and Tony headed to the vending machines to get some snacks for their long plane ride.

Gibbs stuck around to keep an eye on the bags after giving DiNozzo a dollar to get him a bag of Doritos. He had a high-tolerance for food, but airplane food was definitely an exception. A few minutes later, he saw his two agents coming back, already bickering about something.

As they neared, he shook his head. "What is the problem with you two? Five minutes alone and you're already jumping down each other's throats."

"Boss," Tony said sadly, sitting down across from him. "McGee thinks Nutter Butters are better than Oreos. Will you tell him that Oreos are staples from everyone's childhood? They're classic."

Gibbs shook his head. "McGee is entitled to his opinion just as well as you are."

Tony grumbled on a little bit longer but then eventually gave it up.

Within 20 minutes, their class was being called onto the plane. None of the agents were looking forward to the 17 hour long plane ride which consisted of nearly 8,000 long miles to cover. The plane they were on definitely wasn't the biggest they'd seen, only 2 rows with a pair of seats going back about 50 rows. Not many people had idealized the idea of going to Somalia for a relaxing vacation.

The flight wasn't nearly full, so the passengers pretty much had their pick of seats. Tony and McGee had always promised themselves they'd never willingly sit next to Gibbs on a long flight, so they sat next to each other.

They argued for a moment about who would get the window seat, but McGee insisting he would get sick if he didn't have the window seat quickly won that argument. Greeting the man sitting in the aisle seat, Gibbs stepped over to him and sat down in the window seat which was right in front of the two agents.

Tony had forgotten to bring anything to do on the plane and finished flipping through _Sky Mall_ even before they took off. It didn't take long for him to start bugging McGee again, and continued to do so for hours.

He was way too pumped to even think about sleeping, so when McGee decided to put his seat back and take a nap, Tony jumped on the opportunity. The second Tim's breathing evened out, Tony took a few seconds to just hover over him and decide how he was going to play this out. When he finally decided on a plan, he snickered quietly then leaned over and picked up his water bottle off the floor.

Taking another look at his partner to make sure he was still asleep, he swiftly took the lid off the bottle began to tip the bottle over McGee's head. A gruff, "DiNozzo!" came from the seat in front of him. Gibbs had realized a few minutes before that things had become far too quiet behind him, so he had turned around and focused his gaze on Tony from in between the seats.

Startled from Gibbs catching him, he pulled the bottle up, but still not in time. McGee was thrust out a deep sleep with cold water streaming down his face. After realizing what had happened, Tim carefully headed to the bathroom, holding onto the rows of seats as he went, trying his best to ignore the snickers from the people around him.

Once McGee was in the lavatory, Gibbs got up and walked over to DiNozzo. Giving him a stern look, he nodded his head towards his seat. Sighing, Tony got up and changed seats with his boss. The rest of the flight consisted of Tony switching from reading _Sky Mall_ more times than he cared to remember and gazing out of airplane's window watching the clouds beneath them float by.

* * *

Before they knew it, Tony and Tim were driving through the desert right in the middle of what DiNozzo had tracked down as Saleem's camp.

All in one feeling he was praying to God that this was the right camp and that he didn't make a mistake and he was also scared to death that he was right. He was messing with killers and who knew what could go down in these kinds of terrorist camps.


	10. Home

_A/N: I do hope you all like this final chapter of "Lost Hope"! I hope you enjoy this longer-than-usual chapter! Please tell me what you think! ~Lynn D._

* * *

After taking punch after punch, Tony and McGee were dragged into the last cell in Saleem's camp. Once Tony was chained to the chair and McGee thrown onto the floor, their captor left them to get his truth serum.

The second he left the room, Tony tried to regain his composure. "McGoo, you okay?"

A groan escaped his partner's lips. "Yea, I think so. Not a big fan of having my guts punched out though."

"I'm not either. Can't do anything about it," Tony replied.

Saleem walked back in and injected Tony with the truth serum. It didn't take long for the serum to start working and Tony began to get scared as things became hazy and he grew more and more disoriented and he was beginning to feel the impulse to speak. He didn't know how he was going to keep from telling Saleem NCIS's national secrets.

"Ziva isn't replaceable," Tony said.

"The one you lost," Saleem recalled. "Then why aren't you looking for her?"

Tony sighed to himself. "If I could drag her back, I'd do it in a heartbeat," he admitted, "but that's impossible. Ziva David is dead."

DiNozzo cringed as Saleem kicked McGee over onto his back. At this point, he wasn't sure if Tim was okay. Saleem had injected him with something as well. Tony wasn't sure what, but he figured it was some kind of sedative.

After DiNozzo had told Saleem about his addiction to Caf-Pow, the terrorist left the cell. Tony guessed it was to go vomit.

Taking the opportunity, Tony looked over to his partner again. "You okay, McGee? You awake?"

"Yea," Tim sighed, trying to stretch his muscles out while he had the chance. "When do we move?"

"Not yet. Wait for my cue," Tony decided quickly as Saleem walked back into the room with a hooded prisoner.

He sat the prisoner down in the chair across from Tony. "Questions are being asked in town about missing NCIS agents, concern that U.S. forces might mobilize. One of you will tell me the identities and locations of all the operatives in the area, and the other will die."

Saleem pulled the hood off of the mysterious prisoner. "I'll give you a moment to decide who lives."

As the terrorist left the room, Ziva gasped as she saw Tony sitting in front of her, the first man in months she had seen that she knew for a fact wouldn't lay a hand on her. With all the drugs in Tony's system, he couldn't help but start joking around. "Well, how was your summer?"

As much as she hated to admit it, Ziva had missed her partner and yes, sometimes even his humor. "Out of everyone in the world who could have found me, it had to be you," she said, being as honest as ever. After spending months in a terrorist's camp, that was all she was allowed to do.

"You're welcome," Tony said, still not quite sure if this was really happening. _"Maybe just a hallucination from the serum,"_ he thought. "So, are you glad to see me?"

"You should not of come," Ziva said, immensely scared for her partner's life.

Even though he was disappointed that she didn't give him an answer, he wasn't going to push it. He knew after the months of torture she had been through, pleasantries weren't the first thing on her mind. "All right then. Good catching up. I'll be going now," he said, trying to stand up. He got a quick look at Ziva's expression as he was doing this and he snickered to himself. _"She probably thinks I've gone nuts from this serum…maybe I have…"_ Coming back to reality, he continued. "Oh. Oh yea, I forgot. Taken prisoner."

Ignoring Tony's antics, Ziva thought of Tim. "Are you alright, McGee?"

Hearing Ziva's voice nearly choked Tim up. He'd spent countless nights lying in bed awake, thinking of what could have happened to her, and now, finally knowing she was alive was overwhelming. "I'm just glad you're alive."

Ziva smiled inside at his comment. McGee and her had always been good friends and partners. She would never want anything to happen to him. Looking to Tony, examining all of his cuts and bruises then into his eyes, she came to a harsh conclusion. "You thought I was dead."

"Oh," Tony said, on the verge of the serum taking over, "oh yea."

Cocking her head to the side, Ziva wrinkled her brow. "Then why are you here?"

Trying as hard as he could to fight against the serum, he answered. "Well, McGee…McGee didn't think you were dead."

"Tony!" Ziva exclaimed, knowing for a fact that wasn't the reason Team Gibbs had traveled so far. "_Why_ are you here?"

Pain was searing through Tony's body as he was fighting off the drug with every ounce of strength he had left. "Couldn't live without you, I guess," he said, letting his partner sitting across from him know more than he wanted her to.

"So you will die with me," Ziva said solemnly, trying not to dwell on Tony's last statement. She had so much time to think, more then she wanted and she knew from Tony's actions a few months before of how much she really was cared for. Taking those last words to heart just hurt too much, knowing what she had done to him. "You should have left me alone," Ziva pondered, being completely true to what she had believed since fellow agents at Mossad had filled her head with all of those lies.

Not being able to take the searing pan building up inside of him, Tony had to make sure Ziva knew what was going on. They were partners. They had each other's backs. "Okay, tried, couldn't. Listen, you should know I've taken some kind of truth serum, so if there are any questions, uh," he stammered, "that you don't want to…" Tony trailed off as he shook his head.

Ziva let out a sigh. "I did not ask for anyone to put themselves in harm's way for me..._even though I've dreamt about it more times than I could ever remember…"_ she thought. "I do not deserve it."

Tony's heart fell into a million pieces. He wanted to just hold her in his arms—to comfort her, tell her none of that was true. She meant so much more to so many people than she would ever know. But, sticking to his DiNozzo self, he responded. "So, what are you doing out here, some kind of monastic experience? Doing penance?"

Ziva looked to Tony somberly. "It is justified."

Heartbroken he couldn't make her smile, he tried a new approach. "Get over yourself."

"I have," she replied, near to tears. Taking a deep breath, she continued. "Now, you tell Saleem everything he wants to hear, and you try to save yourselves."

_"She always did think of others first."_ Tony thought, admiring her spirit.

McGee smiled. "That's not how it works."

"How what works?" Ziva wondered, enjoying the time alone with her co-workers. It had been a long time since she had been around men that wouldn't hurt her, much less friends.

"The plan," Tony answered proudly.

Ziva was in disbelief. "You have an escape plan?"

DiNozzo clicked his tone in the affirmative.

"Tony," Ziva said worriedly. "They have 30 men, _heavily_ armed. They have anti-tank, anti-aircraft weapons," she recalled from her Mossad briefing. She cocked her head to the side. "What do you have?"

"Well," Tony sighed, "that's where things get a little tricky."

Once her partner had briefed her on their plan, she was appalled. "Wait—you got captured on purpose?"

"Yea."

"These men are killers, Tony," Ziva said, still in disbelief.

"I know. That's why we have to stay alive long enough to not get dead," he replied, still trying to add in some humor to alleviate their stress.

"That would involve being rescued," she said, trying to figure out exactly what they were planning. She could tell he was holding something back.

"Yes, it would," Tony agreed cryptically.

"How long will it take?"

"I don't know, how long do you think I've been talking?" he asked playfully.

Ziva became anxious, knowing Saleem was bound to come back soon. "What's the plan?"

"Oh, well…" still having the truth serum working its way through his veins, he couldn't hold anything back. _"Never could hold anything back from those brown eyes anyway…"_ he thought, then continued to tell Ziva their plan. "We fail to contact Dubai, word gets to the carrier group in the Med and they scramble F-22 Raptors that burn sand into glass. How long that's going to take I don't know. Hours…or days." Pausing, he looked to his partner more intently, worried about her. "Ziva, can you fight?"

With a tear running down her cheek, she was about to respond but Saleem came back into the small room, cutting her off.

Tony looked up at him. "Oh hey, Saleem. What's up, man? What's the commotion?" he asked, referring to the shouts from outside.

"We're moving out." Saleem said, checking around the room.

"Oh, well that's good. I was getting kind of tired of this place," Tony responded in all honesty.

Saleem shook his head. "We're not taking any prisoners."

DiNozzo's heart dropped but he continued on. "Oh, well, okay. It was nice talking with you."

Saleem moved behind Ziva. "No." Grabbing her hair harshly and pulling a knife to her throat. "We're not done yet."

Bearing the pain to the best of her ability and trying to stay as still as possible, Ziva tried desperately to keep Tony and McGee alive. "If they do not check in, their people will come looking for them."

Her partner's heart went into his throat. "Ziva, shut up."

The Israeli wasn't going to give up that easily. "Kill me. You'll need the Americans for leverage."

While she was talking, Tony was sure his worst nightmare was going to happen before his eyes. He would rather be tortured himself than see Ziva killed.

Still holding Ziva's hair and neck firmly in his hand, Saleem broke up their little conversation. "I don't make bargains."

Deciding it was time to end this, Tony put their plan into action. "Do you make pizza?"

Saleem wrinkled his brow. "What?"

Everything hurriedly jumped into action. McGee went into agent mode and kicked Saleem's feet out from under him. As Saleem fell to the floor, his knife was knocked out of his hand. Noticing this, McGee rushed for it, but Saleem was half a second quicker and put his backup gun to McGee's head.

Seeing his partner's life was in danger, Tony quickly spoke up. "Stop! Stop!" he shouted. "There's something I haven't told you yet."

"And what is that?" Saleem questioned.

"Well, I told you about the brains, I told you about the muscle, the scientist…" as he continued, Saleem became interested in this potential information and stood up, allowing McGee to relax a bit. "…the politician, the leader. I told you about every member of the team, except myself. The part I play."

Anxious to get what he wanted to hear, Saleem hurried Tony up. "And what is that?"

"I'm the wild card. I'm the guy who looks at the reality in front of him and refuses to accept it. Like right now, I should be terrified right?" Tony questioned, letting the truth serum take over. "But I'm not, 'cause I can't stop thinking about the movie _True Lies_, you know, where Arnie is strapped to the chair and shot full of truth serum and picks his cuffs and kills everybody." Pausing, he became serious. "You have 30 seconds to live, Saleem."

Worriedly, Saleem checked his prisoner's cuffs just to be sure, then smirked. "You're still bound. You're lying."

Tony proudly cocked his head to the side. "I can't lie. And I didn't say I'd be the one to kill you. Remember when I told you my boss was a sniper?"

Just moments later, a bullet came zooming through the nearby window from Gibbs' sniper rifle, hitting Saleem right in the head, killing him instantly. After the terrorist had fallen to the ground, McGee hustled to his feet and untied Tony from the chair.

Once Tony was free, he looked towards the door, seeing one of Saleem's men with a gun pointed towards them. "Look out!" But another bullet shot through the window killing the man.

McGee quickly untied Ziva and Tony's adrenaline began to rush through him. "Come on, all right, Ziva, here we go." McGee and Tony helped her up then put her around their shoulders. She tried her best to hold her own weight, but after months without nutrition, Ziva was very weak.

As they walked through the hallway, another one of Saleem's men appeared right in front of them, pointing a machine gun at them. All three of them knew there was no way out and were sure they would be killed, when he was suddenly shot and killed by a hidden shooter.

With the man lying dead on the floor, the trio walked around the corner to reveal Gibbs who was dressed in his ghillie suit. "Let's go home."

Relief ran through all of them. They knew they would make it home now.

Walking out of Saleem's camp, Gibbs got into their jeep's driver seat with McGee sliding in next to him and Tony helped Ziva into the backseat. Once they were all seated and their goggles on to prevent the dust from getting into their eyes, they were on their way out of that hell hole.

The team had decided they would opt to buy round-trip tickets for the next day so if Saleem's camp wasn't there, they would have a guaranteed ride home. After they had dropped the rental jeep back at their hotel and picked up their bags, they hailed a taxi to get to their flight that was due to take off in four hours.

Once they reached the airport they were all hustling to get through the tedious security, then off to their terminal.

Sitting down in their designated terminal, Gibbs checked his watch. "24 minutes to spare." Pausing for a moment, he looked to Ziva. "Good job, team."

Tony looked to his Boss with an ill look forming on his face. "Uh…Boss?"

"Go ahead," Gibbs said knowingly. Tony had been throwing up for the past hour from the drugs he'd been given.

Tony rushed off to the men's bathroom and violently emptied the contents of his stomach once again. After rinsing his mouth out with water and cleaning his face off, he was on his way back to his team, but wandered into a small, nearby gift shop instead. He knew he only had a few minutes, so he didn't take too long.

Tony was heading out of the door when a plush, royal purple blanket caught his eye. Even though it wasn't even close to cold outside, he knew that Ziva would appreciate the comfort. Quickly purchasing the blanket, he ran back to the terminal which was just beginning to board.

Gibbs handed Tony his backpack as he joined the line. Putting the blanket in his pack, he hung back in the line a bit so he could get onto the plane with Ziva, not wanting to leave her alone.

Once they had gotten onto the plane, McGee sat next to Gibbs, knowing they'd probably sleep all the way home and not be forced to converse and Tony was sure to sit next to Ziva, allowing her the window seat.

He hadn't heard her say a word since they were in Saleem's captivity, but he understood why. He wasn't quite sure what to say either. It didn't take more than a few minutes for the plane to get off the ground and on start on their way home.

A few minutes after everyone had gotten used to being up in the air, Tony pulled a granola bar and a bottle of water out of his backpack and handed them to Ziva with a warm smile. "Here you go."

Letting a small smile grace her lips, she only accepted the water bottle. "Gibbs gave me a bar while you were in the bathroom," she said, speaking for the first time in hours. "I, uh, don't think I could keep another one down." Earning a knowing look from Tony, she took a sip of the water bottle and stifled a yawn.

Both her and Tony's adrenaline was beginning to wear off and things were beginning to get hazy, so it didn't take long for her to fall off to sleep. Tony was glad that she was able to sleep. He couldn't imagine what she had been through and he didn't want to either.

After he was sure she was fast asleep, he carefully took the bottle from her hand and settled it in the side of his bag. Quietly, he slipped the blanket out and took it out of its packaging then gently draped it over her. Ziva faintly felt something warm covering her, but just settled deeper into her seat and enjoyed the comfort.

He just watched her sleep for awhile, making sure she wasn't going anywhere then settled back into his own seat and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep for the first time in months.

* * *

Tony stood quietly in the corner of the elevator in NCIS headquarters, watching Ziva trying to stay strong. Everyone knew this was going to be hard for her. "Just another day at the office."

As the elevator dinged and the doors opened, Ziva took a deep breath and cautiously walked off. Vance, who was on the catwalk, looked down at the team who he wasn't completely sure was coming back.

Seeing Ziva with them, he couldn't help but start applauding. Soon, the rest of their nearby co-workers joined in, amazed by the nearly impossible feat that had been accomplished. Tony headed towards his desk, patting Ducky on the shoulder as he past. He just sat down, wanting to give Ziva her space.

It didn't take long for Abby to embrace Ziva in a warm hug. The team just stood there, still in shock over what had happened in the past few days and the results. They knew there would still be some rough patches, but with their missing team member back, they would get through them.

* * *

The next few days were difficult for Tony. He wanted to go see Ziva, ask her how she was doing, give her a hug if she needed it, but, he decided it would be best to just give her time to adjust to being back home.

Work started back up right away, which he was glad for so he didn't have time to register everything. For the first time in months, he was able to think much clearer now for he knew where his partner was now and that she was safe. He still wondered how long her desk would be empty.

"She'll call when she's ready," McGee encouraged.

"Last time I said that, I ended up tied to a chair in North Africa," he responded.

Seeing Ziva again during the case was a great relief for him. It was good to see her back to normal. Later in the day, he excused himself to the bathroom and to his surprise, Ziva let herself in. "I was not sure what to say," she admitted after some small talk.

"Well did it have to be said in the men's bathroom?"

"I'm sure it had to be said," she assured him.

Tony went over to the sink to wash his hands and she began to say what she'd been practicing for a long time. "When you shot Michael, I almost shot you where you stood."

"I wasn't standing," Tony said, thinking back to when he was looking up at her, completely helpless.

"No, you weren't. You were lying on the ground. Without adequate backup, completely violating protocol," she recalled.

"And double parked."

"Yes, I noticed. But that does not matter, just like it does not matter how it worked out for Michael."

Tony was surprised at her saying this. _"Maybe she finally realized just how bad news he was…"_ Tony thought. "So what does?" he wondered, very curious.

"That you had my back, that you have always had my back. And that I was wrong to question your motives," Ziva said, never forgiving herself for what she had done to him after he was just trying to protect her from getting burned.

"So why did you?" Tony asked with hurt shining through his eyes.

"I trusted my brother Ari, I trusted Michael," Ziva admitted. "I could not afford to trust you."

Tony looked towards her, his eyes softening. "I thought you weren't sure what to say."

"I guess I had a long time to think about things." She smiled softly, remembering all of the sleepless nights.

"I'm sorry, Ziva," Tony said, knowing how much of a hell she had been through and he wasn't right there to save her.

"No, it is I who am sorry," she said truthfully. Looking up at him, she kissed his cheek, not knowing how else to express her gratitude. Tony was taken aback by this, but wasn't about to complain. Things were getting back to normal and he liked that.

* * *

Coming into work with McGee had become a regular thing in these past few months, so as they got off of the elevator and Tim stopped in his tracks, Tony peered at him curiously. McGee looked down at Ziva's desk and saw that her purse was on it. "Ziva's here." Tony looked at the purse then smiled as she came in with a fresh plant.

None of them knew exactly what to say, so they all just sat down and began their day at work. It was the first morning in ages that all of them were fully at peace.

**The End**

* * *

_A/N: Wow! I can't believe that this is the end of "Lost Hope"! It's been such an amazing ride with you all and I thank you for hanging in there with me for it! I do realize I've left out some parts, (and changed around a few things) including some Tiva parts, but if you think about it, if I were to try and put all the looks and smiles we'd be here forever! (That's what I love about NCIS!) SO, thank you again for being such amazing readers/reviewers! I do have a one-shot in the works for next week, so you won't be missing a week of reading! I love you all! ~Lynn D._


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